Not my fault at all.......

Once again I'm following on from a post by muddlingthroughaspergers, sometimes all of us NT partners seem to be living parallel lives.
My DH is never wrong, if something goes wrong in his life it's not his fault. It's my fault, or someone else's fault. Never ever his fault.
On Monday we drove over to Manchester for a concert, it was foggy. I drove the first 1.5 hours cross country. It wasn't a fun drive, but he moaned all the time, moaned about tractors on the roads (it's a rural agricultural area), moaned about the fog ( well we can't change the weather), moaned about my slow driving (through thick fog on country roads!)
He drove the other 1.5 hours of the journey on the motorway, through fog, like a bloody lunatic. It was my car so I am waiting for the letter telling me I was speeding, when I will say no I wasn't, he was. He can add it to his other speeding points.
We arrived safely in the big city, no thanks to him, did a bit of shopping, and met up with my middle son and DIL  for a meal before the gig.
Before they arrived he constantly whinged that
(1) they wouldn't turn up, or .....
(2) they would be late so we'd miss the start of the gig....
(3) the food bill for 4 would be very expensive (despite the fact that we take my kids out for dinner about once a year whereas he takes his kids out every month!) and it wasn't dear, was a really cheap night out.

What really hacks me off with this AS business, is that I'm the one who has to do all the accommodating, and when it doesn't work, when I haven't accommodated enough, I feel guilty, like I've failed.
Someone wrote this on a forum, and it upset me, because, for me, it implied that the NT partner was to blame for the AS partners behaviour.
"When my ASP doesn't do what I want or what I would expect of a partner, I try to remind myself of the mantra 'no expectations', and then think about whether I asked him clearly enough, forgot to ask him, or whether my expectation was unrealistic for the circumstances"
For me, that is such a downer, to think that all of my husbands negativity, misery, whingeing, is my fault, because I didn't handle it well. May as well give up now I think.
Oh well
Hannah x