Have had an interesting conversation with Mr H today. We had a bit of a spat this morning, over nothing really; our front garden is being "remodelled" and mostly gravelled, but we want to put some more trees in. I had a brainwave whilst walking the dog, and said to Mr H that it would be a good idea to plan where to put the trees today, and dig the holes and mark with plant pots before the gravel goes on.
As is his wont, he found the pompous negative, "well my thoughts on that are what if we wanted to change our minds about placing the trees? What if we don't want to to buy trees straight away?"
My answer to both, "no problem, we can wait and decide, and if the markers are there it doesn't matter when we buy the trees", but he had a bit of a tantrum, accused me of being negative (!) and said that I was deliberately trying to be difficult, and was I trying to start an argument?
I said "not at all, I had a thought, which I thought I would discuss with you, but it's obviously a waste of time so now I am getting on with the housework and ironing, see you later" and went upstairs to clean and iron.
About 30 mins later he came upstairs, almost tearful, asking if we were still friends, and asking for a hug. I have to say, I find it a bit pathetic when he does this, he has created this situation, not me, but when he starts being argumentative, he can't follow it through, because he has no logical argument. I gave him a hug but really my heart wasn't in it!
Later on, we almost had another spat, but I held it back! some of you may know, his mum died 6 weeks ago, and his 60 year old sister, who is single and has always lived at home, despite having quite a high powered job, is struggling with it all. Mr H rang her today, to see how things were. He has been phoning her almost every day when he is at home (so at least 4 days a week) during the daytime, and is on the phone for up to 30 minutes, but a couple of weeks ago had a massive whinge at me for ringing my cousin once at 5.55pm which has cost us £2.50! I am looking forward to seeing our next phone bill!
Hannah x
Wednesday, 22 April 2015
Sunday, 5 April 2015
Creative differences, and no cross words!
Sometimes I do wonder if Mr H and I are from or on different planets! Today we were watching something on TV which involved a person making a 3D sculpture of a hare from wire, it was impressive, and I said to Mr H that I really admire that ability to create your vision; I can visualise how I want colour schemes, room decor, crafts etc, but wouldn't know where to start making a 3D object. "I know what you mean" said Mr H, " I can visualise my spreadsheets at work though." And indeed he can, I have heard him on the phone talking someone through a procedure, and find it amazing that he can do that.
But this inability of his to visualise anything other than spreadsheets (!) causes us no end of niggling little problems. When we moved to this house, I had measured rooms and furniture, and was very clear in my head about what would fit and what wouldn't, Mr H, on the other hand, thought that we should just bring everything and shoehorn it into the new house, despite the fact that we were downsizing. It didn't happen dear reader!
If I tell him about an idea I have had for the garden, or the house, he looks puzzled, he can't imagine how it might look until I explain in graphic detail, or even draw it for him. Even then, he really has no idea until the work is done, and he will say it looks ok (although always with the caveat that he didn't think it needed changing!) Luckily, he usually gives in (after a bit of stubbornness) and I get what I want.
I think I have totally changed my stance over the last couple of years, I don't argue, I let him think he is getting his own way but in fact I am! I put an idea into his head, and after a few weeks he thinks it's his own. Result! Today, we have been in this house 2 years, and raised a glass of fizz to celebrate. "And almost no cross words since we moved" said Mr H. "Indeed" I replied, while thinking that the lack of argument is due to my man management!
Hannah x
But this inability of his to visualise anything other than spreadsheets (!) causes us no end of niggling little problems. When we moved to this house, I had measured rooms and furniture, and was very clear in my head about what would fit and what wouldn't, Mr H, on the other hand, thought that we should just bring everything and shoehorn it into the new house, despite the fact that we were downsizing. It didn't happen dear reader!
If I tell him about an idea I have had for the garden, or the house, he looks puzzled, he can't imagine how it might look until I explain in graphic detail, or even draw it for him. Even then, he really has no idea until the work is done, and he will say it looks ok (although always with the caveat that he didn't think it needed changing!) Luckily, he usually gives in (after a bit of stubbornness) and I get what I want.
I think I have totally changed my stance over the last couple of years, I don't argue, I let him think he is getting his own way but in fact I am! I put an idea into his head, and after a few weeks he thinks it's his own. Result! Today, we have been in this house 2 years, and raised a glass of fizz to celebrate. "And almost no cross words since we moved" said Mr H. "Indeed" I replied, while thinking that the lack of argument is due to my man management!
Hannah x
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