Struggling with this Aspergers thing

I've not posted for ages, I've been really trying very very hard to be positive around Mr H, and also we have had visitors for the past 3 weekends - downside of living fairly near the coast! But his constant desire to have things his way have almost caused a fight this weekend. I say almost, because I have backed down as usual so as not to accelerate things. Several things have driven me to the edge over the past week or so.
1. When our adult children visit,  Mr H is keen for them to leave as close to lunchtime as possible on the Sunday, this works for me too, as I can get on with stripping beds etc, but, as ever, he takes it all too far. My eldest son and girlfriend were here this weekend, arrived Friday evening, planned to leave Sunday after lunch. Mr H decided that in order to prevent them  "hanging around all afternoon" he would book a table at a local pub for lunch, so he booked for 12 midday. All well and good but who wants to eat a massive Sunday lunch at 12? The kids (not kids as such, in their 20's!)  didn't surface till 11ish, so we got there, ordered, and none of us managed to eat more than a few mouthfuls. Total waste of money. I have said to him several times (this has happened before) that it might be better to offer them a huge breakfast/brunch  before sending them on their way. He is considering it.
2. The weather. Mr H seems to think that weather forecasts are true, so he will plan something because the BBC say that it won't rain until 5pm. When it rains at 4, he is distraught, his plans are ruined!
3. Crowds and public events. Yesterday afternoon there was an air display just a few miles from home,  including a display by the red arrows, off we went, had to park in a ploughed field which he wasn't happy with, then the crowds upset him somewhat. Not sure what he had expected but the promise of a flypast by 2 Lancaster bombers was always going to attract a crowd. He decided that he didn't want to wait to see the red arrows as we'd be able to see it from home. Of course we didn't. He moaned because the Lancasters flypast was early, moaned because there were huge queues for the ice cream vans, moaned because I'd left the bottle of water in the car moaned because when we got home we couldn't see the red arrows. Moaned and moaned and moaned. Boring man.
4. Not listening/ expecting instant response to his questions. It's our wedding anniversary today, 10 years of bliss - ha ha! We had a fairly good day, walked the dog, nice breakfast etc, I burnt a load of garden rubbish while he faffed with the computer, and came out several times to tell me that it was going to rain - it didn't. Later on it all went wrong again, he asked me to do something, (so pathetic, I had the TV remote and he wanted me to turn the volume up) I said "in a minute", he wanted it doing immediately and insisted that I hadn't responded to him. I agreed with him, that I had obviously imagined that I had spoken. He accepts this, not realising that I think he is a tw*t. Happy anniversary, he is now asleep in front of the TV in the front room, due to several glasses of wine. He managed to wake up to eat, and after our evening meal I joined him in the living room, he was moaning that he was cold. I offered to put the heating on......"there's no point when the back door's wide open" he says. I pointed out that he had seen me shut the back door over an hour previously. "I forgot" he said.
I wonder if we are actually on the same planet, never mind in the same house.
 This is so very very boring. I know that his Aspergers is mostly why he behaves like this, but he is
sometimes a very unpleasant tyrant and bully and I sometimes wish I had never married him.

Hannah x

The selfishness goes on and on.........

We had an old friend to stay on Friday night, an old friend of mine really, the husband of my best friend who died a few years ago, he and I keep in touch and try to meet up once a year. He didn't arrive till 8pm and Mr H had been at the bottle beforehand, but we had a lovely evening catching up and didn't get to bed till 1am, so were both suffering from lack of sleep and too much wine yesterday, but we all went out for lunch and had a great day. Our guest left at 4pm, Mr H poured himself a drink and settled down to watch TV - after all we didn't watch any on Friday and he was having withdrawal symptoms - but he fell asleep within minutes, and slept until 9ish. Now in the meantime, I stripped the guest bed and washed the bedding, emptied the dishwasher, fed the dog etc etc. he slept. At 9.30 I went to bed, leaving him in front of the TV with more wine, and telling him that I had a glass of water for us both.
I slept for an hour until he came crashing up to bed, moaning that I hadn't brought him a glass of water. I pointed it out to him (surprise surprise "well I couldn't see it") and told him I was fed up with his selfishness and noisiness. His response? "Oh for gods sake, do you want me to live in Bradford?" Now it's not a bad idea, it's a 3 hour drive away, but I have no idea why he said that, we've never been to Bradford!
Anyway of course I lay in bed fuming for an hour or so while he snored, I got a few hours sleep before being woken by a dog desperate for a wee at 6am, let her out and sat downstairs with a cup of tea. His lordship descended at 8am
Me " did you let the dog out before you came to bed?"
Him " no, I forgot"
How can you forget to let the dog out before you go to bed?

And then there's today's selfishness, we had a leisurely breakfast with the papers until 11 when Mr H decided that he felt "dreadful" and returned to bed. I have remade the spare bed, cut the grass, done some weeding, 2 loads of washing; walked and fed said dog and generally completed household
chores, he got up for an hour, told me how bad he felt, and wandered aimlessly about, then returned to his pit, still feeling "dreadful" and possibly caused, he thinks by his tablets, not by the weekend consumption of alcohol. He hasn't done a thing today apart from feel sorry for himself.

Spare room for me tonight I think, where I can read, listen to music on the iPod, and generally relax without disturbing him, and without him disturbing me!

Hannah x


Oh, just as I pressed "publish" he came downstairs again to tell me that he felt awful and his legs hurt (why? He's done nothing) but thought he might sit and watch TV for a bit. Do I care? Not a lot, am in the garden with the iPod. X