Pessimist v Optimist -

I am essentially an optimist; I tend to see the positive and good in things and people until proven otherwise. This is not always a good thing I suppose, it can make me vulnerable to exploitation, but Mr H is the very opposite, the eternal pessimist. He sees bad or potential bad in everything and everyone, and his negativity can be very wearing at times, and I have to make a conscious effort to rise above his endless negativity before it drags me down. I'm not sure whether this is an Asperger trait, an extreme male brain trait, or just his personality, but it sure does make life difficult.

A small example, in my last post I talked about his hair-pulling ritual and "uncomfortable hair", well yesterday after work he went to get his hair cut, he has been to this barbers for a few months now and usually finds something to moan about after each visit, hair cut too short, hair not short enough, etc etc, and in his normal negative way he was anticipating that something would be wrong:
Him " they'll probably make a mess of my hair again"
Me "well if they do you'll have to try another barber"
Him " none of them cut it right, they all make a mess of it
Me "see what happens this time before you start complaining"

So, he comes back from the barbers, pleased with his haircut, and of course he is surprised and slightly suspicious I think, that it has all gone well. Nothing to complain about then? No chance, he is already anticipating that next time the barber will cut his hair wrong again!

And another thing, to add to the grinding negativity, he catastrophises, builds everything up into the worse case scenario. This week he is working at home, he has had a message that his boss needs to speak to him, but isn't available when Mr H tries to ring. So with no justification whatsoever, he has decided that he is going to be sacked. As I write this, he is pacing around the house, worrying. It may be that his boss wants to give him some more work to do, it may be that he is getting a pay rise.....but no, it's got to be the worst case scenario in his eyes. And I have to say, if he does lose his job it will be the worst case scenario for me, as he'll be pacing about all day every day - if I don't murder him!

It's not all negative, he can be lovely, kind, loyal and loving, but trying to stay sane and positive is an uphill struggle at times.
Well I'm off to get my hair cut now, hope they don't make a mess of it!

Hannah x